Curvy Body Style Tip #4: Victoria's Secret Bra Fitting Is Not Darth Vader Level Evil As Rumored

Warning Label:

Everything I am about to say goes against what a million women write online about the undergarment industry. The following is my personal belief. Not everyone will agree with me; some of you will. Respect what I have to say.

Moving along...

You know how you fit in a bra and are told the band size is right? Bra fitters at places like Nordstrom or specialty lingerie shops are forgetting one major obstacle: all bras are designed with one fit model in mind. The girl selected as a label's fit model is measured. She's usually a standard size 34-24-34 or 36-26-36, always super tall, usually always a column shape and not a curvy thin shape. As you know by now with my tips, you can be thin or skinny and hourglass shaped. Fit models are never curvy.

All of the bras are cut according to the fit model. They won't always fit YOU.

Bra fitters might say, "You look best in a 28G, 30F, 32I," these odd letters right? Those "weird" to other people sizes with letters beyond DD are also cut off upped and downed patterns made from the original fit model and won't, I repeat, always fit you. I use a size different than what I should be wearing because the cups cut into my sides when I wear the size that I" should" wear. I last had a great bra fitter over at Victoria's Secret say, "If it works for you, do it; you want to be comfortable!" with honesty and a smile as she had me try on all the sister sizes only to find them scratching me up in the outer edges of myself in the cups and me going back to the usual size I had used for some time.

Because truthfully, a poorly fitting size isn't going to do much good despite it being the right fit on the measurement system. Haven't you been familiar with this known as the "he (or she) makes a great boyfriend/girlfriend on paper" rule? Only you meet him and think, oh please, he's so cornbread and unsexy? Who cares if he looks good to other people if I were to date that bland no-personality humanoid, he whose face looks like an escaped Ken doll factory mold I've only seen a few hundred times this month? Yeah, exactly. One size does not fit all for, well, bra fittings either.

I am not suffering from any issues with my undergarments the bra fitters online warn about. My band size being bigger is not causing me to slip and slide out of my bra. And, in the best part, the size I use is more readily available in attractive and/or comfortable styles, and did I mention sold at Victoria's Secret and cheaper than the jumbo letter-small band size frumpy bras? Hurray!

When I have gone for the past DD/DDD sizes found at Victoria's Secret in favor of the odd letters-brand number combos found elsewhere, all the styles are granny bras or Medieval armor shaped knight plates. Which, definitely, you want something that holds you up, although why does it have to be misshapen and ugly? The women wearing some of these lines claiming the bras look pretty are lying to themselves. I love Nordstrom so much as a retailer until I walk near their stale granny bras and realize I've felt sexier wearing a hospital gown. Victoria's Secret could wisely accept more bra sizes, but them having 32-36DD now in the Pink section and 32-40DDD in regular Victoria's Secret, all these options now is something super cool — and you won't face humiliation should anyone see your bra on the floor or you in it while changing. The Nordstrom people years ago fitted me into some sickly measles, old woman on her deathbed looking bras that, no surprise, felt really awkward, uncomfortable, and scratchy in the outer sides of the cups poking my rib cage.

Not all people are sculpted equally. Please do what feels right to you on bra sizing. And often, the bigger band size-smaller cup combo isn't so bad.

I'd say if you're out in 38Q land if that exists, or if you're rail thin at 60 pounds and something like a 24 band and 24DDD in which case you should probably get help for an eating disorder please not joking, you can ignore my tip on this one. For most women, it works really well and you won't notice the difference. Someone relatively thin who's normally a 28 can still do a 32 band and probably be fine. A 32 band girl can easily be fine in a 36 band if she fills it out.

Bra fitters from rival shops rant on how much Victoria's Secret sucks, blaming their secret hip hop illuminati new world order agenda for fitting women into "the wrong" bra cup to band sizes for money, but they too tend to have actual agendas of their own fitting us into vastly overpriced, zany titled bra sizes for their employers' huge financial gains. The Nordstrom and other training as far as bra fitters go at this time of writing is to sell you what's there and convince you to spend three or more times the money on a bra that's simply not fitting right with the promise it'll work. My VS bigger band bras are not anywhere in danger of falling off for sure, as I'm warned by the bra fitters at VS-rival shops. Far from it. It feels like a perfect fit. Nor do I feel or look droopy, which is the other major threat. I'm pretty well suspended.

And please, note to Nordstrom, I love stores like you so much. Your customer service is amazing. My only complaint is your bra section. Please do what you can to make it more fun. Better fitting, non-armor bras with patterns could be a fresh start. Your whole section is those aforementioned sad looking bras and sad looking shapewear. It's like the underwear section contradicts your store's message in the other sections making shoppers feel better about themselves only to learn from the underwear area, whoops, no, we aren't so amazing.

And if you're concerned about what you look like under there, years ago, I asked a guy BFF I was then fond of what he liked in women's bras and panties. I had to know, HAD TO KNOW, if lingerie was really all marketing or not. He didn't care "as long as the underwear isn't dirty." Nice. "Some lingerie is kind of cute; if it makes the girl happy, sure." Not one real care on the big underwear marketing that straight (and bi!) men supposedly love. Pretty sure most people you want to date don't care either. They're going to take it off anyway. Wear what's feeling right to you.

Please, follow my advice. A bra fits according to how spaced out your figure is. Bra fitters make it sound like everything is in the band and bra. Not so. You might be quite content with a sister size, as I am.

 My Victoria's Secret Pink bra. I'm no longer in college but don't care! I love VS Pink.

My Victoria's Secret Pink bra. I'm no longer in college but don't care! I love VS Pink.