My "13 Reasons Why" Thoughts + Why Hasn't It Ended Slut Shaming?

My "13 Reasons Why" Thoughts + Why Hasn't It Ended Slut Shaming?

I never really got around to reviewing 13 Reasons Why. For absolutely no reason other than, yeah, I got busy doing stuff away from this diary. Spoilers ahead. Step away from this if you have not seen season one and don't want to know more!

The show really hit me at a personal level I never expected for a Freeform/CW lite program. You don't expect this. A lot of this show goes cheesy into Kraft factory singles town. The storyline about the guy following around the lead actor, and why, oh why, does he not listen to the tapes like a normal person in one sitting?! Tapes, Hannah?! TAPES. Get thyself an iPhone recorder.

I had a friend kill himself when I was about the age the people are on this show. Seeing it from a girl's perspective changed things around for me. I relate to this character a bit too much. She's slut shamed like mad, though at a far lesser amount. I too have had the unfortunate experience of someone doing something to me because of believing slut shaming rumors.

Like our lead girl Hannah, I often find myself in the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation where I am "weird" if I don't talk to the straight guys the way other girls once worshipped them at high school dances/football meets/basketball games/"popular" frat boy intersex mingling parties. You know those guys. The straight guys with mega testosterone-means-manhood issues who make the nice straight guys look bad and make every girl like me run and hide into only hanging out with men on the LGBT spectrum who know what it's like being tortured for being bi/gay and thus, relate to girls of any sexual orientation. You almost fear them. You know one when you see one. He always thinks every girl in the room wears specific clothing for him. Never mind she may have left work, a photoshoot, something causing her to wear a garment – or be headed there. He who thinks a handshake and a smile means she wants to rip off her clothes then and there. Of course, all women are attracted to him. He thinks women live for him. Don't you dare ask him to be your friend the day you meet him if he does not find you his type. He will brush you off and tell everyone how he turned down this girl who oh-soooooo-badly wanted him.

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These are the guys who slut shame.

Like Hannah, and yeah, using that phrase cannot happen enough in this review, I am amazed how often those all-American slut shaming boys are married to or dating women who partake in the slut shaming. Slut shaming another girl over rumors she's easy, dresses for men, wanted her man, blah-something, gives them power. Bullies love watching others metaphorically bleed. When someone is actually bleeding-bleeding cutting her wrists, you wonder how many girls like Hannah have their haters mocking them like, "Oh, it's so good she killed herself. Dumb bitch was trying to sleep with my boyfriend. He's so lucky he got away!" knowing all well it's untrue.

This is reality.

I never went to high school. I did the La-La-Land non-high-school Olsen Twin/it girl/no school equivalent, or as far as one in Illinois can go being inspired by them. I went to college classes apart from Spanish, computers, and cooking because I did not want to be one minute in high school having that experience. I knew in my heart participating in high school was 13 Reasons Why for real teens, someone certainly, at my school. What I did not expect: about five percent of people in life don't leave high school behind. They remain mean girls. Misogynistic former high school popular boys who cannot handle their fallen stars from those days.

Had my friend never killed himself, had I never known of other young people who did, had I not all my life been so passionate about my goal of changing the world through my art aka. film/music, I wonder if I would have sought suicide as an option like Hannah. And, what if I had? Would people have applauded? Mocked me? I started getting slut shamed around junior high mildly for anything stupid, a lot more when I looked physically from the neck down where I was all baby faced with this mudflap girl figure....looking more mature body-wise around 15 or so. Big time in my 20's. Hopefully, never again. Here's to hoping I have a band of women standing with me who relate to this and, oh yes, will help each stick up for each other. Saying, "I know this isn't true. Shame on you for spreading this rumor."

Because I have seen all of these things happen to myself and others in the 00's and 10's, I thought 13 Reasons Why would start the conversation. We need to end slut shaming. I shouldn't have to retweet a million sexual assault headlines to help spread awareness that this isn't happening only to a select few but the norm for many in this world.

Because my friend killed himself, I had a hard time viewing the scene where Hannah kills herself. Seeing blood is the reason I am not a doctor, for real.

I recommend that people of assorted ages watch this to understand how cultural negativity harms young women, no, women of any age. Talk about this with your kids. Make this, and suicide, a real concern at your schools beyond the school lesson of the day. Like, you know, how Schindler's List gets its own few days at school in Illinois and voila, we brush over the Holocaust.

Kids need to watch this show and quit skirting around the issue.

Women of all ages participating in slut shaming, shame on you. Men, likewise. Get over yourselves.

I worry so much about kids these days and tomorrow. Preaching political correctness is not going to make this go away when the same people who claim to love this show go around bullying people weeks later.