Chicago Eat Foodlife's Awesomeness + Michael Bay's Hotness Backstory Reminding Me to Write About It

Chicago Eat Foodlife's Awesomeness + Michael Bay's Hotness Backstory Reminding Me to Write About It

Sometimes, things come to inspire your next big website entry. Or people. Specifically, people's hotness. As in, one specific popular film director's hotness.

"He made Jaws! Cool."

Um, no guys.

I'm referring to the blond, normal guy next door hotness aka. not plastic man who lives at a surgery clinic handsome and bathes in hair gel, middle aged LUKE SKYWALKER LOOKALIKE on the right.

Examine the evidence. Real Luke Skywalker. Why don't we have a quirky stream of conciousness post today? Fun, fun. OK.


Michael Skywalker.

OK, I don't really know what's going on with that awful open hoodie outfit photo but his "I wear Old Navy 24/7 and don't own a hairbrush" is part of his appeal. Like Beyonce, he woke up like this. He flawless! LOL.

Women seem to think six pack abs and guys who look like below are outstanding. When you've lived my life and just about every guy who's not a 90 year old businessman checking you out is this same old "hot guy" everyone yells at you for not finding sexy, all the "hot" guys end up resembling Dilbert comics and you wind up thinking grown up frat boy-ness is appealing. I'm quite content being Shallow Hal in terms of liking the most unstylish dudes. Sorry, Ryan Reynolds. You're cute buuuut. I've met probably only half the MLB visiting Manhattan, lots of men like you, half of everyone in Sports Illustrated, a million guys who are not known, all of whom think being clones of one another is hot when it robs you of uniqueness actually.

As I cannot say enough, Mr. Michael Bay looks more like how the real actor who played Luke Skywalker should have aged because as we all know, Luke Skywalker was in the first Star Wars the absolute normal guy next door sex symbol fantasy and forever will be. I mean, I think Transformers are fun guilty pleasures of mine but come on, I would have an obsolete boxed VHS edition of every one of them if Bay were given his Hollywood best and starred as the lead in the films. I don't want to intrude on the guy. I can admire him from afar in my living room the day he acts in his own films.

"I thought you were crushing on Steven Spielberg and that sexy argyle sweater number. Rawwwwr."

WHAT!?!?! Steven Spielberg is more like, cough, industry role model to me and everyone under 65 as opposed to... :0 OMG. Paraphrasing White Chicks, I cannot believe you guys were thinking it.

Anyhow, this gentleman had a movie premiere in Chicago recently. Thus, I had to give my usual pimping of Foodlife to all who will listen to it. This time, I Tweeted him in reply to that, knowing I basically wrote him because he's hot and feeling sort of like those pathetic Millionaire Matchmaker dweebs Patti Stanger used to have on. Only to a second later remind myself I have it going on physically and in talent skill level to where my brain is a living computer at times ..... and it's OK. I mean, I know a lot of people I write to privately and publicly who are famous and not. I meet lots of A to Z-list celebrities and some non-famous film industry people who all think I'm awesome, so if Mr. Bay asks around, I mean, sure, I hope I don't come off like Millionare Matchmaker blobby toads and .... #blush

"Ahem. Stay on subject, Princess Leia wannabe. So what's the big deal on Foodlife?"

You mean, enough that when I got to chill talking with Jackie Collins on her Chicago trip and started bothering her about its awesomeness until she seemed convinced to try it and did?

It's 14 multiple restaurants in one!

Foodlife's website comes with a guide called "how to Foodlife." As in, an explanation for Chicago's basic foods all rolled into one. You have to understand I'm someone who screams about people ruining the native food of Chicago and New York like I work on the Discovery Channel observing the rare tribal rainforest people. Enough authentic Mexican joints. Why don't we have more of our native hot dogs? Midwestern junk food you only eat during a calorie splurge and spend the rest of the week eating salad in preparation?

Sushi. Tacos. BBQ anything. Salad. Pasta. Juice. Pizza. Soup. Midwestern country food. Big city steak. All of it.

Welcome to foodlife, an urban food hall with 14 distinct kitchens. With quality food made from scratch daily for breakfast, lunch, and dinner to dine in or to go, you will find fresh, fast choices all in one convenient location. Check out Sacred Grounds Bakery & Café, located at the front of foodlife, serving Intelligentsia and La Colombe coffees with delicious fresh-baked pastries.
— Foodlife

The Baby Coffee Shop

It's so cute, like as if Barbie were a business professional and had her Pinterest perfect meetings there. See the photo above.

I heart little downtown coffee shops and eateries like Bouchon Bakery. This joint is the ideal meeting grounds. You have lots of people around for safety who'd notice if anything happened to you – and please, as a native Illinoisan, don't believe because you read sensationalist press coverage of how Chicago is crime ridden we're going to mug you for a lemon cake. Downtown Chicago is really, absolutely fine! :) You won't need to watch your back at all. Everyone here has your back. We stick up in particular for people from the Midwest. I've never once had a problem with creepy men/women bothering me there, rude people, none of that.

Reasonably good eats. Nice staff. Coffee. Mmmmmmm. So relaxing!

Delivery, Ooooh

Delivery. So when you're not super lazy living it up in your snowed in downtown residence or hotel, too lazy to walk from your hotel condo downstairs into the mall, you can get this sent to your room. Ideal for fashionable, calorie/fitness concious, shallow, basic bitch it girls like myself who can't be seen Guy Fieri-ing it in public. Specifically ideal for Posh Spice whose reputation would be ruined for life if someone saw her spilling caloric, greasy food on her Hermes. I mean, if you wanna be my lover, get with my friends, but I will not be seen eating 5,000 calories.

Fun Fact

Marc Jacobs is a part of the staff. Really, a guy works for Foodlife who is called Marc Jacobs. Not the actual fashion guy, though having his name makes him cool.


WaterTower Place Mall

Under the Ritz-Carlton!!!!!!!!