Review: Batiste Dry Shampoo (Hint: It Wasn't Great)

A very seventh grade science homework assignment perspective. The scientific method!

Background

I had heard about the mythological Batiste dry shampoo saving women's and sometimes men's hair in every magical kingdom.

Below, a stream of consciousness look at each try.

Try 1: Post-Sweat Failure

My fairy tale Rapunzel hair did not become reality from this product, which I tried after working out without water entering my hair. Anything but. I regret informing you so as a person whose hair faces the standard drama of dry ends and oil spill roots when I don't wash it on my schedule.

The dry shampoo in brunette is far lighter than my hair. The original formula does not look powdery, which is the good news. The bad news is the original formula leaves my root area a lot lighter so here I was with a natural off black-ish color toned rest of my head and medium reddish brown toned root. This will not cover your grey roots per advertisements. The brunette formula rubs off weirdly; the white original formula will make your grey roots into Gandolf the Grey hair roots. Yuck!

The product itself smells nice and your hair won't smell for a few hours after which point, your hair will start looking greasy again and smell far worse than had you not used dry shampoo due to the hair natural smog scent mixing with the product. Personal trainers I saw online recommending this for people with oily hair and/or those who work out all had platinum or near platinum golden locks, often with short hair. OK, awesome. For people who don't have overly processed hair like myself, this product does not do you much good.

I tried the next day adding more dry shampoo. I followed all the steps from YouTube beauty gurus as to not overdo it. My roots appeared drier, using the term "dryer" loosely. My hair appeared dirty but dry at once. When I brushed it out, my ends grew really stiff and oily in combination. Gone were my natural princess waves at my ends I have without styling my hair and in their place was hair someone found in a garbage bin filled o' used and frayed Remy hair extensions. My roots felt like the hair follicles grew greasier than had I not washed my hair with the oil glands acting up in panic mode.

Sure, it prolongs the life of any blowout – if you want to look like a lady who lunches who's now roughing it in the jungle after her private plane crashed and living in filth the past couple days. Between preserving a blowout in icky land or me washing my hair on my schedule and always on workout days, yeah, washing my hair seems like a better option. Batiste didn't save me any time when all the while, I was spraying my hair to appear clean. Why waste all that time when I could be living with clean, shiny, healthy hair? And that odor. Like George Washington powdering his hair after a grueling spinning class workout. He would not be posting his look on social media, for sure.

Lesson learned. Don't buy Batiste dry shampoo at all until the product improves. Continue using sulfate free, gentle shampoo-and-conditioner routines, like my perfected one from Alba Botanica's line. My fellow ladies, and gentlmen always included, the absolute best Alba Botanica option is Hawaiian Coconut. Your hair will smell so good and not be dried out. And not bad: the 365 Whole Foods shampoo line.

Leave Batiste for emergencies only! Wish I could say something better as their staff seem to be kind and excellent at marketing. ANGER! GRRRRRR!!!!! WRATH!

Try 2: Ponytail Attempt...Better-ish

Using it two days after a workout day in which I washed my hair immediately after exercising, I developed a trick. I'm not convinced at all on this covering your greys. However, it doesn't feel as icky because I learned it works on my head with a ponytail to absorb the powdered wig look. Yes, my bathroom continues to smell like Bach's haircare routine or like I'm a Founding Father. Give me liberty, and not death, please. I'm too young to die.

The ponytail after about two hours zaps out the weird dryness and faux lightening of my hair shade. My rest of the hair I don't want powdered junk over gets a bit dry and loses the waves. I applied a leave-in spray conditioner to the ends by Alba Botanica Hawaiian Coconut to refresh things. I look good so far. Yeay! Will I make it out of ponytail land? Will I be able to go a week without washing my hair? Will the ponytail trick help things for me to use this post-workout? Time will tell.

Try 3: Yeah, This Sucks

As I tested out my theory, things at the end of the week on spray #2 of technically try #2 went back to try #1 status. Yuck. I looked greasy, felt oddly greasy-dry with dust in my head, my hair was stick straight thin looking, ugh, yuck.

Conclusion

No way will dry shampoo ever get close to being similar to clean hair, nor appearing stylish. A better solution is retraining your hair to be washed less frequently, co-washing, or using a gentle, organic, sulfate free shampoo/conditioner like I do. You will never feel yourself using dry shampoo. Your haircare routine will not get shorter using it because you'll be disguising the oil slick that is your root area. The most you might want it for is an emergency day when you have no other choice. Seriously, it's that bad and I doubt any dry shampoo available right now is worth dealing with.